“I thought everything would be great when my husband stopped drinking. The truth is, we seem farther apart now than ever. He’s not drinking, but that’s about it. If this is the quality of sobriety we are going to have in our home, I don’t think it was worth the wait.” Abstinence from alcohol is mistaken for recovery. Alcohol is only a symptom of an underlying problem and just because someone stops drinking, that doesn’t mean that they have ‘recovered’. Alcoholics need to be aware that the real cause of their alcoholism is buried deeper.  Anyone can stop drinking but can they stay stopped? The primary result of alcoholism is the loss of self-esteem. Abstinence and the ability to have a happy life is not the same thing. Abstinence is like standing up at the starting line of a race that hasn’t started yet but at least you are standing up rather than lying down. If the alcoholic does not put a conscious effort into healing their addiction, they will drink again. Until they come to terms with the reason why they drank, they will drink again.  People give me lots of reasons why they drink but fail to understand the real reason why they continue to drink. Alcoholics have to change their toxic belief system. It’s their stinking thinking that leads them back to drinking. Nothing changes if nothing changes. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Their inability to accept life on life’s terms is the real reason why alcoholics stumble and fall off the wagon. Some alcoholics find themselves pouring the same obsessive energy into another addiction. These objects of obsession then become just another way to hide from the real issue: themselves. Their limitations and self-defeating learned behaviors. Their character defects, which invariably limit their capacity to function in loving relationships. That is why these behaviours are self-defeating. There is a saying in A.A. “the alcoholic often switches the witch for the bitch!”  Some throw themselves into their work or stay busy in the same hell-bent way that they practiced their addiction.  Full of delusion and denial and with the same lack of control that characterises all addictions. Some alcoholics become addicted to food. Eating feels good so it is a prime candidate for a switched addiction. When we use food to solve a problem or reward ourselves, we are abusing it. That abuse can lead to dependency and when that happens, we can no longer make choices about our control over another chemical. When we define recovery, we also define what the problem or issue is and what needs to be done about that problem or issue. There are many mental health issues that need to be addressed and often the alcoholic is unaware of these issues. Mental illness contributes to 90% of alcoholics self-medicating because they have not been properly diagnosed. Many undetected mental health issues include post traumatic stress disorder compounded by borderline personality disorder. It takes years to uncover these disorders because alcoholics don’t often present themselves to the health profession. Instead they return to the bottle and resume drinking to take away the emotional pain of living. More than 54% of alcoholics suffer with Bipolar 1 or 2 and most alcoholics suffer with depression. Take away the alcohol and you still have the underlying cause of the addiction. Many alcoholics are dry drunks. That is a name given to alcoholics who do not drink but are desperately unhappy. That’s because they have never sought treatment for their mental illness.  Unlike cancer or other diseases, alcoholism cannot be cured and does not ‘go away.’ A true alcoholic can never drink again; the disease can only be arrested and monitored. But the living problems underlying our addictions can be cured, if only we understand that dealing with those issues is where recovery takes place. All recovering alcoholics have to work on their self-esteem and people with low self-esteem have a terrible time believing they deserve anything good, they feel they have messed up and deserve whatever rotten fate befalls them.  The truth, of course, is that whatever we think about, we bring about.  Since no doubt the best thing that can be enjoyed in a person’s life is love, which always comes in the context of a relationship, people with low self-esteem will always find a way to short-circuit or sabotage rewarding relationships. The real problem for most recovering alcoholics is not fear of failure, which we all know about and expect, the real problem is fear of success and the solution is to get out of our own way so the riches of full recovery can be enjoyed. The problem is not that we want too much, but that we have too little belief in what is possible for us. Once the primary addiction is broken, the alcoholic needs to deal with bad habits, traits and patterns within themselves that stand in the way of achieving more happiness, success and love. Our three basic needs in life are food, shelter and love. Before I start counselling a new alcoholic patient, I need to assess their ability to absorb and retain what I am going to say to them. When it comes to feeling mentally and emotionally switched on, we have to have the correct brain chemistry – get it wrong and you will never achieve the feeling of wellbeing that you crave. Tyrosine Mood Food is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy stable mood.  Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for the sense of satisfaction – why do we drink? To feel satisfied.  It is also the reward neurotransmitter – why do we drink?  It rewards us and makes us feel better about life. To help the alcoholic relax I recommend Magnesium Complete as it will assist in the reduction of stress, nervous tension, anxiety and sleeplessness. I take Magnesium Ultra Potent because it suits me to use the powder format and to help prevent muscle cramps at night. L-Glutamine helps to remove ammonia from the bloodstream to lower levels of toxic ammonia that build up when liver dysfunction is present. A practicing alcoholic has a very inflamed liver and needs to detox and heal, if the body is to recover from alcoholism. Glutamine can be found in our Ultimate Gut Health Powder. L-Glutamine is the most amazing amino acid in the body! It is vital for healthy intestinal function and may help with inflammation of the intestinal tract. It is also vital for muscle growth and healthy muscle function. LivaTone Plus to help the liver recover and Vitamin B12 and Vitamin C to assist the recovery process.