I had my first drink with my girlfriend when I was 14 years old. We sat in front of an old black and white TV and drank a bottle of cheap wine. I can remember seeing a cockroach run across the floor and thought it was part of the movie I was trying to watch. My next drink was at a family function when I was about 15 years old with a family friend making me a double rum and coke. I blacked out and was totally bewildered, where had last night gone?  I didn’t know it then, but it was to become a pattern I’d repeat over and over again for the next 20 years. The guilt, remorse and shame I felt that morning grew in the years to come. I may have never done anything wrong to anyone, but it didn’t stop the way I felt, nor did it stop me from chasing that elusive, transitory thing called happiness that alcohol had on me. I felt 50’ tall and bulletproof. A few years later my 25 year old sister died as a direct result of her drinking, a car accident whilst drunk. This did not stop the way I drank. My rock bottom was to come much later. I met my husband when I was 19 doing our fair share of partying. He always looked after me as I could get very aggressive or start blubbering into my drink and wailing about how unfair life was. My drinking didn’t slow down until I was pregnant and managed to stay sober for 5 years. I started drinking again when my children were little as it enabled me to cope with sleep deprivation, money worries, lack of friends and a husband who was rarely home. I was not always a ‘park bench drunk’ and put on a good front when out in public. I had nice clothes and my children were well fed and immaculately dressed as if to say to the world, “See, I am a good mother!”  Little did the outside world know that I was “dying inside” with feelings of inferiority battling superiority (my ego)? Frozen rage was imbedded in my heart and I squashed it down with alcohol.  I could always put down the drink – that wasn’t the problem.   My problem was leaving it there.  Once I started drinking again, I could never guarantee my behaviour and I usually finished the bottle. There was no ability to control my drinking, once I had taken that first drink.  When I wasn’t drinking, I was pretty miserable. One day I took my 2 children to a local function where the champagne was flowing and I was into it. I drove home in a blackout with my 2 children in the car. This scared the hell out of me. I decided to go and see an alcohol counsellor who tried to teach me some “controlled drinking” techniques. That was futile as I would rather not drink at all than to try and stop after 2 or 3 drinks.  Have you ever tried to control diarrhoea?  It’s impossible and yet there are books out there that profess to be able to cure alcoholism.  I found out the hard way that you cannot control drinking alcohol as the drunk takes the drink and the drink takes the drunk………….. It’s wasn’t the 5th or the 6th drink that did the damage; it was the first drink. I also tried my first AA meeting but there I saw all the differences – they had lost everything (kids, cars, houses and jobs) and I had not experienced any material loss. I had nothing in common with these poor people at all so I decided to once again, go it alone. Two miserable years later, I tried control drinking again. But this time I was more careful, I’d only drink at home when no one was there or only on week-ends – which is binge drinking.  I tried one day alcohol free and drank the rest of the week to make up for lost time. I would drink orange juice out in public and then consume a bottle of wine when I returned home, to catch up on what I missed out on.  Day after day, week after week, month after month I tried to control my drinking but to no avail. I drank for another 10 years and still kept my material things but lost my self-respect. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have embarrassed myself, my husband, my children and friends with my behaviour whilst drinking. I could not be trusted.  Then one day I hit my own personal rock bottom. It started like any other day with me waking up on the lounge. I had a horrendous hangover from the previous night with the same feelings of guilt, remorse, shame and fear. I feared my actions and the reactions of everyone who had witnessed my behaviour. My daughter was ashamed of me because it was her birthday party and I tried to re-live my teenage years with her friends. I could not recall what I did or said but it was enough for my whole family to turn their back and not speak to me. That night I had my last drink. I wrote a letter to my family telling them that they would be better off without me and then finished the note saying, “You’ll be sorry when I’m gone!”  It was really a cry for help. I ended up in hospital having my stomach pumped (not a very pleasant experience) and my doctor found a lady with 2 years sobriety and asked her to take me to AA.  The rest is history.  AA is a good start but then I had to get in touch with my childhood and work through the dysfunctional behaviour I had learned growing up in an alcoholic environment. I had to change my diet and started taking amino acid supplements to balance my brain chemistry. I had to start exercising to build up endorphins and get my “high” from natural resources. I had personal one-on-one counselling from a recovered alcoholic counsellor who knew what I meant when I said “I don’t want to live like this anymore.”  She could honestly say, “I know how you feel.”  No one could say that to me in my drinking days because I knew they were lying. How could anyone possibly know what I was feeling unless they suffered from this disease? I was very fortunate to find this lady and have kept in touch with her over the years. Life is good and I’m so glad I was able to get help when I needed it most. All the “yets” started to happen.  I had lost my job and nearly lost my husband. I was in danger of losing the respect of my children and my friends had dwindled away. Anna T., Australia When it comes to feeling mentally and emotionally switched on, we have to have the correct brain chemistry – get it wrong and you will never achieve the feeling of wellbeing that you crave. Tyrosine Mood Food is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy stable mood.  Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for the sense of satisfaction – why do we drink? To feel satisfied.  It is also the reward neurotransmitter – why do we drink?  It rewards us and makes us feel better about life. To help the alcoholic relax I recommend Magnesium Complete as it will assist in the reduction of stress, nervous tension, anxiety and sleeplessness. I take Magnesium Ultra Potent because it suits me to use the powder format and to help prevent muscle cramps at night. L-Glutamine helps to remove ammonia from the bloodstream to lower levels of toxic ammonia that build up when liver dysfunction is present. A practicing alcoholic has a very inflamed liver and needs to detox and heal, if the body is to recover from alcoholism.  L-Glutamine is the most amazing amino acid in the body! It is vital for healthy intestinal function and may help with inflammation of the intestinal tract. It is also vital for muscle growth and healthy muscle function. It also assists muscle recovery after exercise. I always put my patients on an exercise program to help heal their mind, body and spirit. L-Glutamine also supports efficient brain function. Livatone Plus is a powerful formula that can support liver function when there are more chronic liver problems. It is beneficial for a sluggish bile flow and gall bladder problems or if you have lost your gallbladder. It is beneficial in reducing abdominal bloating, burping and flatulence and provides extra antioxidant protection for the liver when required. Allergies are related to poor liver function which reduces the liver’s efficiency in cleansing the blood of toxins (such as antibodies and chemicals like alcohol.) Such toxins over stimulate the immune system causing it to pour out inflammatory chemicals. Read Dr. Cabot’s book The Liver Cleansing Diet. The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.