For every alcoholic there are at least 4 to 6 family members emotionally affected, not to mention other relatives and friends.  Rationalisation and justification occurs when the alcoholic begins to find excuses to justify continued drinking. They find a myriad of excuses and continually point the finger at others, not realising there are 3 more fingers pointing back at them.

The wife or husband is overwhelmed and bewildered by the events going on behind closed doors. Anger, resentment and self-pity as the drinking begins to have serious effects on their social and financial life and frightened by his/her angry, aggressive outbursts as the fuse gets shorter and shorter.

A husband or wife could be expected to intervene in their partner’s life and demand that he/she gets help for a problem that is worsening. While this does occur sometimes, the usual process is quite different. First and foremost, the woman doesn’t want her husband to be an alcoholic, so it easy to say, “Well, yes, he’s drinking a lot, but not as much as some of his friends.”  This may even be true or seem to be true because much of the drinking is hidden from her.

Then remembering how he stopped drinking for a month on a previous occasion when the drinking had led to some outrageous, unacceptable behaviour, she may say to herself, “And he can stop any time he likes so it must be just heavy drinking”.  The clinching argument in this massive process of self-deception is to say to herself, “And of course not only does he still have a job, but his boss was speaking very highly of him at the Christmas party”.

Even if she remembers the occasions when she as objected to ringing his work to say he, “had the flu” after a particularly heavy drinking bout. This will not convince her of the peril everyone in the family is in because the last thing she wants is for him to lose the security and the income derived from his job. He has the dominant position here. If she says to him, “I’m sick of telling lies for you. Ring work yourself”.

He will then say something like, “Well, I’ve been missing a few days lately so if you don’t call, I’ll probably get the sack.”  So she does what is asked of her and becomes further enmeshed in the web of lies and deceit which surround alcoholism.

If a close friend gets up enough courage to suggest that there is a problem, she will distance herself, break off the relationship or repeat the rationalisations.  “Bill? A problem with booze? He’s far too intelligent for that. Sure he’s been drinking a bit too much but he’s under a lot of stress at work. And what are parties for anyway? These high achievers need to let off steam and relax now and then. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.” It’s unlikely that the friend will ever mention it again after this rebuff.

So the cover up, the enabling process, proceeds. The next step is the involvement of the children. The cardinal rule in alcoholic families becomes; “No matter what happens, don’t talk.”  Communication about anything connected with the drinking becomes taboo within the family and especially with others outside the family. So no one must know, not even the family itself. The denial has spread from the alcoholic to all the family members.

I recently went on a date with a man who told me a very sad story about the demise of his 30 year marriage.  I could read between the lines and knew that his wife was sick and tired of being sick and tired of his alcoholism. He told an assortment of lies and the more he justified and rationalised how he was a good husband and had done nothing wrong, I queried why he had been delegated to the 3rd bedroom for the past 3 years.   He had no reasonable answer.  Two days later he phoned me late at night and I could not understand a word he was saying because he was very, very drunk.  I sent him a copy of my new eBook, Recovery from Alcoholism and have not heard from him since.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

What can be done to help the alcoholic and his/her family?  Help is only a phone call away. With the assistance of supplements, counselling, exercise and good nutrition, alcoholism can be put into remission, but never cured. Total abstinence is required to start the journey of recovery followed by counselling. The brain chemistry must be functional. When it comes to feeling mentally and emotionally switched on, we have to have the correct brain chemistry – get it wrong and you will never achieve the feeling of wellbeing that you crave.

The alcoholic has a predisposition to a depleted dopamine neurotransmitter – the centre of satisfaction in the brain. What can we do about it?  Tyrosine Mood Food is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy stable mood.

Magnesium Ultra Potent is the great relaxer and is assists in the reduction of stress, nervous tension, anxiety and sleeplessness.

LivaTone Plus supports liver function and metabolism and supports phase 1 and phase 2 detoxification pathways, ensuring optimum detoxification of many toxic substances, including alcohol.

The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.