“Admitted I was powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable.”  Alcoholics are powerless over alcohol! This is the message that Alcoholics Anonymous has been transmitting for over 65 years and this message that comes through loud and clear from stories of recovering alcoholics. Many of my patients come to me to “learn how to drink socially.”   They have tried to use their undoubted intellect to find a way they could go on drinking without drinking alcoholically. Their aim was to become social drinkers, moderate drinkers, light drinkers or controlled drinkers. They tried to get around the hurdle, under it, over it and through it and like all the others before them and since, these attempts failed dismally. Each time they tried they failed, and each time they progressed further down the alcoholic scale, developing symptoms of greater and greater severity. Some give up after two or three counselling sessions saying it is “all too hard” and I have to remind them that they didn’t get “that way” overnight.

What does being powerless over alcohol mean?

It doesn’t mean that every time an alcoholic drinks he or she will go on a drinking binge. That’s not true. It doesn’t mean that an alcoholic in the early and middle stages of alcoholism can’t stop and go on the wagon for days or weeks or even years. Instead most alcoholics do this to prove to themselves or to others that they are not alcoholics. This is one of the symptoms of alcoholism. What it does mean is that once alcoholics begin to drink, sooner or later they will allow their drinking to increase and alcoholic drinking will start again. In the late stages of alcoholism it often takes only one drink to start the process over again.  This is what alcoholism is all about. Alcoholics are people who cannot drink alcohol with safety.  Alcoholics cannot guarantee their behaviour once they take the first drink. On the first page of Alcoholics Anonymous book “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions” this paradox is spelled out:  “We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps towards liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.” Why then do alcoholics continue to kick and struggle for so long?  Why don’t they stop denying their problem? It seems to have something to do with the way we are brought up, with the way we are socialised, with the way we are ‘educated’.  Somehow or other we have learned the wrong things about the extent of our power. We hate to give in, to admit defeat, to say we are less than perfect and above all, we refuse to accept that we are powerless over anything. “Keep trying. There must be a solution. It’s weak to surrender. I don’t need help from anyone.” The idea of being powerless is anathema. We hate it. Yet the theory of power outlined earlier suggests that being powerless is the normal state rather than something unusual. Human beings have no power over other human beings unless that power is transferred to them. We do not even have total power over our own behaviour because, as human beings, we are limited, fallible and mistake prone. We can’t control the activities of the government very well; most of us have little or no power over the industrial scene and none of us can control the weather. Any single person, you or I, has power over so little that to resent being powerless over something like alcohol is absurd. Perhaps the problem arises because we have been taught to compare ourselves with others. We don’t want to be different “They can drink safely, so why can’t I?  It’s not fair.”  There are two problems with this approach. The first is the assumption that we should be like others. In fact we are different in perhaps a million ways.   The colour, length and texture of our hair is different. Our height and weight are different. We have a thousand different attitudes. We are more able than some and less able than others. And so it goes on. Why make a big deal of adding one extra dimension to the total so it is now one million and one ways in which we are different? The second problem is the assumption that “the world should be fair.”  Who made up this rule?  The world is in fact an imperfect place peopled by imperfect people.  It is neither fair nor unfair. Good things happen and bad things happen. All we can do is to try to cope in the best way we can. Complaining about the injustice of being an alcoholic makes no more sense than complaining about the weather. The real problem here is that the sentence should read, “The world should be fair to me.” This is clearly a self-centred view of the universe which can only lead to chaos. The way out of this difficulty is to accept reality; to accept the world the way it is and try to cope with it and be as happy as we can within the confines of this imperfect place. Part of the way the world works is that we all have severe limitations to our power and the sooner we accept that the better. Diabetics have limitations on what they can eat; alcoholics have limitations on what they can drink. Part of accepting reality is to change our attitudes. For alcoholics it seems to be necessary to change from “I can’t cope with the world unless I drink alcohol”, to  “I can’t cope with the world if I do drink alcohol.” We need to change from “I can’t be happy unless I drink”, to “the only way I can be happy is not to drink alcohol.” The main aspect of reality is that of being an alcoholic. The old attitude of “It’s terrible to be an alcoholic” can be and has to be changed to “It’s OK to be a recovering alcoholic.” The attitude that “alcoholics are second-rate citizens” can be changed to “I can be proud of being a recovering alcoholic because that takes courage and lots of hard work.” Another necessary change is from “One of these days I will be able to drink again”, to “It will never be safe for me to drink alcohol ever again, even in the smallest amounts.” Do we have the power to do this?  The answer is yes, unequivocally yes. With the possible exception of those who are insane and those who have destroyed too many brain cells, all alcoholics have the power to get better. What stops so many?  Arrogance, self-will, stubbornness, pigheadedness are the attributes which mark off those who continue to drink. Add complacency among those who think they have no further need for help and are not prepared to put in the hard work needed for ongoing growth and we get some idea of the underlying cause of relapse. In the meantime, I would suggest helping yourself cope with the rigours of living with a practicing alcoholic by looking at supplementing your diet with an amino acid and a natural relaxant to help you sleep at night.  Magnesium Ultra Potent can be taken before bed to assist with a deep and restful sleep and helps to reduce stress. Tyrosine Mood Food is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood. Blues Free is designed to support a better mood. Hydroxytryptophan is needed by the brain to make Serotonin which is the natural happy chemical produced by brain cells and has a controlling effect upon mood and feelings, appetite, sleep, confidence and mental energy. Sleep Eze is another useful sleep enhancer and I use it myself.  Melatonin is best taken at night when the pineal gland is meant to secrete its own melatonin to promote a natural restful sleep and awake refreshed in the morning without that “sleeping tablet hangover”.   I like it because it is not addictive. Everyday Stress Lozenges. These Everyday Stress Lozenges contain all natural passion flower petals to help you relax under pressure. A natural herb with relaxing and calming effects upon the nervous system, to help you perform under pressure without slowing you down. Adrenal Plus Support  If you support the function of your adrenal glands, you have more chance coping with the everyday pressures of life. Many people suffer with morning fatigue and depression due to sluggish function of the adrenal glands. The adrenal glands are 2 small glands that are situated just above the kidneys and when they are working efficiently, they produce extra surges of energising hormones such as cortisol, adrenalin and DHEA to help you face the challenges of the new day. In other words, the adrenal gland hormones increase your resistance to stress and provide the drive and energy to succeed. The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.