Living in the Past – Guilt and Resentment

Recovery from alcoholism is a day-to-day process, starting with the final drink. It occurs in the present with some planning for the future. In our analysis of failure to cope, guilt belongs with the negative emotions that lead to failure.

The lives of most alcoholics have included many shameful, immoral, stupid and risk-taking behaviors. Our advice to alcoholics is to repair any damage, physical, financial, legal, and personal or whatever that can be fixed, make amends for what can be amended and then forget the past.

The fact of being an alcoholic must be accepted, because that has important implications for what can and what can’t be done in the present and in the future. Dwelling on the past, feeling guilty about the devastation that was caused, feeling guilty about being an alcoholic or allowing anyone to make him or her feel guilty is not only a waste of time but is actively destructive. What has happened in the past is now history and nothing can change that.

Feelings of guilt and resentment about being an alcoholic are extremely common. These emotions are harmful because they lead to irrational action in the present and increase the chances of relapse very markedly.

The problem of guilt can come from external sources, Spouses and families are the main culprits. Statements such as “If only you hadn’t spent a fortune on alcohol we would now own a car and a house” are commonly made to the alcoholic. These remarks can lead to guilt feelings sand trigger off the relapse behavior, which of course, leads to even worse financial situations. Families of alcoholics need to accept the fact of alcoholism, to accept that what happened in the past cannot be changed and that they, too, need to live in the present, making it as happy as possible. Making the alcoholic feel guilty is not likely to achieve this end.

I recently had a young lady staying in my one-on-one rehab facility and one of the biggest fears she about going home was the fact that her husband didn’t trust her. Her husband kept reminding her about the number of times she had tried to give up drinking without any success. This is normal co-dependent behavior from partners of alcoholics and time will heal the partner’s negative thinking and replace it with trust.

Alcohol dependent women are easily intimidated by angry people and take to heart personal criticism. This causes them to feel anxious and overly sensitive.

There are many resources available to the alcoholic to help him or her achieve a successful sobriety. I have seen many ladies over the years that are still sober today.  They  take their supplements, including Tyrosine and L-Glutamine, to help balance their brain chemistry.

L-Glutamine, which is provided in our Ultimate Gut Health, supports efficient brain function and is the body’s most potent antioxidant and detoxifier.

Tyrosine is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood.

Magnesium Ultra Potent to help them reduce stress and assist with a deep and restful sleep without having to use drugs or alcohol.

LivaTone Plus supports phase 1 and phase 2 detoxification pathways, ensuring optimum detoxification of many toxic substances and also supports liver function and metabolism.

The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.