It’s typical for alcoholics to try to blame their drinking on circumstances or others around them, including those who are closest to them. It’s not unusual to hear an alcoholic say, “The only reason I drink is because you…….”  Don’t buy into it.

If your loved one is truly an alcoholic, they are going to drink no matter what you do or say.  It’s not your fault.  They have become dependent on alcohol and nothing is going to get between them and their drug of choice.

When alcoholics promise they will never drink again, but a short time later are back to drinking as much as always, it is easy for family members to take the broken promises and lies personally. You may tend to think, “If they really love me, they wouldn’t lie to me.” But if they have become truly addicted to alcohol, their brain chemistry may have changed to the point that they are completely surprised by some of the choices they make. They may not be in control of their own decision making.

Many family members of alcoholics naturally try everything they can think of to get their loved one to stop drinking. Unfortunately, this usually results in leaving the alcoholic’s family members feeling lonely and frustrated. You may tell yourself that surely there is something that you can do, but the reality is, not even alcoholics can control their drinking, try as they may.

Make no mistake about it; alcoholism, or alcohol dependence, is a primary, chronic and progressive disease that sometimes can be fatal. You are not a healthcare professional. You are not a trained substance-abuse counsellor. You just happen to love someone who is probably going to need professional treatment to get healthy again. That’s the alcoholic’s responsibility, not yours. You can’t cure a disease.

Alcoholics in denial will scream, “I don’t have a problem, so don’t tell anyone!”  Alcoholics typically do not want anyone to know the level of their alcohol consumption because if someone found out the full extent of the problem, they might try to help!  If family members try to “help” the alcoholic by covering up for their drinking and making excuses for them, they are playing right into the alcoholic’s game. Dealing with the problem openly and honestly is the best approach.

It usually begins with some small incident that family members brush off with, “They just had too much to drink.”   But the next time, the behaviour may get a little bit worse and then it becomes unacceptable. You slowly begin to accept more and more unacceptable behaviour. Before you realise it, you can find yourself in a full-blown abusive relationship. Abuse is never acceptable. You do not have to accept unacceptable behaviour in your life.  You do have choices.

One problem in dealing with an alcoholic is that what might seem like a reasonable expectation in some circumstances, might be totally unreasonable with the alcoholic When alcoholics swear to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop, you might naturally expect that they are sincere and they won’t drink again But with alcoholics, that expectation turns out to be unreasonable. It is unreasonable to expect someone to be honest with you when they are incapable of even being honest with themselves.

The key to dealing with alcoholism in the family is staying focused on the situation as it exists right now, today. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It doesn’t reach a certain level and remain there for very long. It continues to get worse until the alcoholic seeks help. You can’t allow the disappointment and mistakes of the past affect your choices today, because circumstances have probably changed.

Often, well-meaning loved ones, in trying to “help,” will actually do something that enables alcoholics to continue along their destructive paths.  Make sure you are not doing anything that bolsters the alcoholic’s denial or prevents them from facing the natural consequences of their actions. Many an alcoholic has finally reached out for help when they realised their enabling system was no longer in place.

After years of covering up for the alcoholic and not talking about “the problem” outside the family, it may seem daunting to reach out for help from a support group such as Al-Anon Family Groups. But millions have found solutions that lead to serenity inside those meetings. Going to an Al-Anon meeting is one of those things that once you do it, you say, “I should have done this years ago!”

There may be very little you can do to help the alcoholic until they are ready to get help. However, you can stop letting someone’s drinking problem dominate your thoughts and your life. It’s okay to make choices that are good for your physical and mental health.

You need to take care of yourself and your own nutrition and dietary supplements. We recommend Tyrosine Mood Food, necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood. Tyrosine is required for the manufacture of adrenalin in the adrenal glands and you are probably suffering with adrenal exhaustion.

The state of the alcoholic’s liver has a big impact on their state of mind so that those with a fatty liver may find themselves irritable and moody with a poor memory and difficulty keeping up with life’s demands. Depression and poor sleep may be associated with a fatty liver and these things resolve when we improve the liver function.  You end up the brunt of the alcoholic’s bitterness and it’s not your responsibility to try and fix them.

You can ask them to take a good liver product like Livatone Plus, a powerful formula that can support liver function when there are more serious liver problems due to alcoholism.

L-Glutamine, found in our Ultimate Gut Health, is an amino acid and has been shown to improve brain function in alcoholics, resulting in improved sleep, decreased anxiety and a reduced craving for alcohol.

Vegetable juice has been successfully used to clear out fatty livers too. Juicing, along with the above supplements, B-vitamins and Vitamin C, may be a real long-term help with cirrhosis of the liver. Dr. Cabot has a great juice book, Raw Juices Can Save Your Life, that’s easy to follow and has recipes to help rejuvenate your loved one’s fatty liver.

Magnesium Ultra Potent can be taken before bed to assist with a deep and restful sleep. It also helps to reduce stress, which is very beneficial to a recovering alcoholic.  Magnesium is also known as the “great relaxer”.

Dr. Cabot’s book, Help for Depression and Anxiety is an excellent read for family and friends living with an alcoholic.

The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.