Getting sober is easy but staying sober is hard because alcoholics have so many handicaps to address in their early recovery. Mental illness combined with co-dependency, which is learned behaviour growing up in a dysfunctional environment, play havoc with the alcoholic’s emotions in early recovery.

Co-dependency is a pattern of abnormal dependency on approval from others in an attempt to find self-worth, self-esteem and identity. Co-dependency is also the extreme exaggeration of natural and normal behaviour with alcohol, eating, work, spending, etc. requiring moderation by changing belief systems.

The Role of the Rescuer and the Caretaker breeds dependency upon others. These people have learned to base their self-image on how much they can do for other people. Because their main task in life is taking care of others, they never learn to take very good care of themselves.

People-pleasers have learned that their self-esteem is based on never making anyone angry and they can never say “no” because if they do, people may not like them.

Control freaks are the emotional bullies who surround us. They intimidate, dominate and subjugate. If you are an alcoholic and being over-controlled, you must stand up to the controller.  If you are the controller, you must see that your behaviour is crippling your relationships. Unhealthy addictive behaviour (allowing ourselves to be controlled) becomes a preoccupation (we focus on our frustration), which causes us to develop a ritual (repeated pattern of coping) that makes us compulsive (stuck in a behavioural pattern over which we feel we have no control), which causes despair.  Despair (a sense of helplessness and hopelessness) leads to unmanageable preoccupation (alcohol dependency) which reinforces our toxic belief system and self-defeating ways we view ourselves and others.

Some controlling co-dependents do their ‘controlling’ under cover. They hide behind a costume of sweetness and nicety and secretly go about their business – controlling other people’s business. If they don’t succeed, that’s a good excuse to propel them back to the bottle.  Other alcoholics use sighing and crying to announce their overall victimisation, and successfully control through weakness. They are so helpless. They need your co-operation so badly, in spite of alcohol being their ‘friend’ because they can’t live without it. Sometimes the weak are the most powerful manipulators and controllers. They have learned to tug at the guilt and pity strings of the world by using emotional blackmail.  “See what you made me do…….. I had to have a drink!”

Workaholics find it extremely difficult to relax. They need “busyness” to feel worthwhile and they are never really happy unless they are working. They try to relax by using alcohol and the vicious cycle continues.  Workaholics rarely feel that they accomplish enough. When they try to relax, they experience more guilt than pleasure, unless they have an alcoholic drink in their hand. They put less value on personal time than on work time and feel intimidated by unfinished business.

Co-dependent alcoholics view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in their love and friendship relationships, often ending up in toxic relationships. The enabler of the alcoholic is co-dependent and attracted to the challenge of ‘fixing’ the alcoholic.  They play the role of the rescuer and the caretaker seeking relationships with alcoholics which continues the unhealthy pattern. A partner with an addiction can often be controlled or manipulated and, in turn, may seek out someone who can organise their lives, cover up for their behaviour and clean up their messy life situations.  Co-dependent people rescue alcoholics from their responsibilities. They take care of people’s responsibilities for them, inhibiting their ability to mature emotionally. I advise partners to attend Alanon Meetings to learn how to cope with being the enabler of an alcoholic partner.

Amino Acid supplements like Tyrosine Mood Food for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood.

L-Glutamine, found in our Ultimate Gut Health, can reduce both cravings and the anxiety that accompanies alcohol withdrawal.

A good liver tonic like LivaTone Plus is recommended and can be beneficial in those who have an inflamed liver or a sluggish liver. LivaTone Plus contains all the B vitamins and the amino acid Taurine. It also contains the antioxidant vitamins C and E.

Magnesium Ultra Potent can be taken before bed to assist with a deep and restful sleep. It also helps to reduce stress, very beneficial to a recovering alcoholic.  Magnesium Ultra Potent is also known as the “great relaxer”.

Dr. Cabot’s book, Help for Depression and Anxiety is an excellent read for recovering alcoholics.

The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.