Can anything be done to help a shaky marriage caused by alcohol dependency? Given the nature of the disease of alcoholism, it is not surprising that marriages/partnerships fail or become very shaky when one or both partners are alcoholic. The difficulty for those who are involved in such a relationship is to decide whether the relationship has irretrievably broken down and, if not, whether the devastation can be repaired. I recently counseled a man referred to me by his wife because he was verbally abusive to her and their children and she left that night. When I spoke to her, she was adamant that she was not going to return to the house until her husband had at least four counseling sessions with me. His drunken behavior frightened her and she was still shaken.  Fair enough!  However, by the third session, she was home again and suggested to me that her husband was not really an alcoholic and she wanted him to learn how to control his drinking and treat her with respect. I hear that a lot from both men and women about their respective partners. The sober partner actually enables the alcoholic partner to continue drinking by making excuses for them. The sober partner is often in denial because of the perceived stigma of having an alcoholic husband. They don’t want to face reality and prefer to hide behind closed doors pretending there is no problem. “If only he/she would have just a couple of drinks, why does he/she have to drink the whole bottle?”  They are called “enablers” and are just as irresponsible as their alcoholic partner. Often, the sober partner, needs counseling to learn how to “let go” and stop trying to change the alcoholic. People often get addicted to hope - the hope that the alcoholic will change. Before anything can change, you first have to deal with that addiction to hope. You have to start setting boundaries. You have to figure out a plan to change things, one that makes sense, keeping in mind, you can’t change other people. Even misery can be an addiction. People get hooked on their own unhappiness, the victim mentality. They learn to get attention by getting people to feel sorry for them. Often, the sober alcoholic is the martyr in the family. The only time an alcoholic can be successfully treated is when they are sick and tired of being sick and tired – it has to be their decision. They generally have a “rock bottom” where they lose all sense of reality through unacceptable behavior.  They lose their job or their partner leaves them. They have problems with friends, neighbors, police (drink driving or a restraining order).  The person they destroy is themselves. They are many of the reasons that propel them through my door or their partner drags them by the nose. Most of my clients are women and a few are men. They don’t stay in denial for too long.  My counseling breaks through their denial – then they are on their way to a successful recovery. I advise the sober partner or eldest child, if it is a one parent home, or a close relative, to get help from Alanon and counselling. This works and my clients work through their own issues, leaving the husband, partner or wife to work out their own issues. It’s called “Detachment” and it works! The Need to Change We drank for happiness and became unhappy We drank for joy and became miserable We drank for sociability and became argumentative We drink for friendship and made enemies We drank for bravery and became afraid We drank for freedom and became slaves We drank to erase our problems and quickly saw them multiply We drank to cope with life and invited death. Help is available in the forms of counseling, active meditation, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (to learn how to be Mindful and Live in the NOW), supplements to help the brain chemistry unravel, activities to help the endorphins in the brain, educational DVDs and the 12 Steps of Co-dependency. It’s not hard but many people struggle with long term sobriety because they are consumed with denial.  "If only", "should have", and "what if", is all they can say. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I suggest Tyrosine Mood Food for my clients, to help balance the dopamine neurotransmitter and alleviate that sense of discontentment.  I find many clients are chronic malcontents and hide behind the bottle to shield themselves from reality. They often find a sense of satisfaction by taking the amino acid supplement Tyrosine. What does Tyrosine do?  Tyrosine is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory, focus and a happy stable mood.  If you lack focus and satisfaction, your brain may be low in dopamine. Tyrosine can boost dopamine levels. Dopamine deficiency can cause depression, mental fatigue and the desire to drink too much.  I help people to detox with Tyrosine. There are a number of supplements to speed recovery and I suggest, Vitamin A, B-Complex, Vitamin B1, B3 and B12. Vitamin C, Vitamin E and zinc, Chromium, Selenium, Vitamin D, Calcium, Folic Acid. There are more supplements but it depends on the alcoholic and their attitude. Magnesium assists in the reduction of stress, nervous tension, anxiety and sleeplessness. L-Glutamine is a component of glutathione, which is a powerful intracellular antioxidant and liver detoxifier. The alcoholic’s liver is one organ in the body that takes a lot of punishment. Glutamine can be found in our Ultimate Gut Health Powder. LivaTone Plus supports liver function and metabolism and contains the full range of B vitamins. Glicemic Balance is a combination of herbs, minerals and vitamins helpful for curbing sugar and carbohydrate cravings. Many alcoholics tend to put on weight because they still crave sugar. Selenomune high potency selenium based antioxidant with added zinc, vitamin E and vitamin C. I find I can provide effective counseling and my clients are more receptive to change and more proactive in their recovery after a course of Tyrosine, Magnesium, L-Glutamine, LivaTone Plus and Glicemic Balance. The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.