There is no doubt that alcoholism runs in families. Many alcoholics have alcoholic parents and alcoholic brothers and sisters and research into their family trees process evidence of many more “heavy drinkers”.

The majority of alcoholics are in denial about their inherited alcoholism gene, preferring to blame their partner, family, work or the whole world, for their “lot” in life.   “Why me?”  they cry when waking up from a week-end binge or a night out that is just a blur starting at 6.00 pm and finishing at 7.00 pm. The remainder of the evening has “left the building”.   In other words, the alcoholic is suffering a blackout even though they may have driven their car to the party and returned home in their car, they have done and said everything in a blackout.

Alcoholics think that a blackout is a “coma” and they have never been in a coma!

It is not clear how much alcoholics learn drinking patterns from their relatives and how much they inherit their alcoholism through genetic processes. A common way of assessing the inheritance-environmental components is to look at the amount of alcoholism in persons brought up in their “natural “ homes compared with the incidence of those separated from parents early in life and brought up in foster homes.

A variation of this is to compare twins reared together with those reared apart. How often do we hear of an adopted child growing up in a loving foster home, ending up addicted to alcohol and drugs?  I have met many patients who have grown up in loving homes only to turn to alcohol later in life. They tell me that neither parents drank alcohol but that one of the parents did come from an alcoholic home and they decided not to drink.  Therein lays the answer.  The patient’s grandmother or grandfather was an alcoholic and their children saw the devastation of this disease and decided never to drink. However, it is an inherited disease and can jump a generation.

Studies of children raised in foster homes strongly suggest that there is an inherited component in addition to the environmental one.   I have come across very few people who have not been touched by this disease somewhere in their background, even though they were raised by non-drinking parents.

The safest thing is for relatives to accept the strong possibility of an inherited element and to act accordingly. Children of alcoholics should be informed of this possibility.  If the adult child of an alcoholic chooses to drink, then they need to be aware of the consequences. If one parent is an alcoholic, they are at risk by 50%.  If both parents are alcoholics, then they are 100% likely to inherit this disease.

It is advisable to inform adult children of alcoholics of the risk they run if they indulge in alcohol and drugs. They should consider the likelihood of their being alcoholic and not to start drinking at all. If they do elect to drink, they should watch their drinking habits closely for any sign of going beyond pleasant social drinking.

Adult children of alcoholics appear to have certain characteristics in common as a result of being raised in an alcoholic home.  Adult children of alcoholics adopted or fostered do not display all of these characteristics and are harder to diagnose.

There are Adult Children of Alcoholics 12-Step meetings around if you would like to Google your region and attend one of these meetings.  If not, try a local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting or a Co-Dependency Anonymous meeting to look for the similarities – not the differences.

Alcoholism is a family disease which often results in a family member taking on the characteristics of the disease even if they are not true alcoholics. Dysfunctional relationships, denial, fearful, avoidance of feelings, poor coping skills, poor problem solving, afraid that others will find out what they are really like, etc. These adult children of alcoholics benefit from attending meetings of Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Common Characteristics of Adult Children include:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Constantly looking for approval
  • People pleasing
  • Wanting to control other people (controlling personalities)
  • Drawn to other alcoholics who may be addicted to other substances or behavioral addictions
  • Isolation, fear of people and fear of authority figures
  • Super-sensitive to constructive criticism
  • An overdeveloped sense of responsibility. Concerned about the needs of others to the degree of neglecting their own wants and needs.  This is a protective behavior for avoiding a good look at themselves and taking responsibility to identify and resolve their own personal issues. Takes the pressure off them and allows them to be “needed” by society when, in fact, they are actually “needy” themselves.
  • Find it hard to stand up for themselves. They feel guilty if they say “no” and so most of the time, they say “yes” and end up hating themselves for being so weak.
  • Constantly looking for something or someone to make them feel better. An addiction to excitement. Feeling a need to be on the edge and participating in risk-taking behaviors.
  • Attracted to people they can rescue and take care of.
  • Avoidance of feelings related to traumatic childhood experiences. Feelings of “frozen rage” often pushed down by alcohol, drugs, food or behavioral addictions.
  • Unable to feel or express feelings because it is frightening and/or painful and overwhelming.
  • Difficulty in expressing themselves in relationships.  Emotionally barren and void of any feelings except anger, resentment and self-pity.
  • Very critical of their own looks and jealous of others who appear to “have it all”. A tendency to judge themselves harshly and become perfectionistic and self-critical.
  • Often have abandonment issues and will do almost anything to hold onto a relationship in order to avoid the fear and pain of abandonment.
  • More reactive than proactive. Tendency to react to things that happen versus taking control and not being victim to the behavior of others or situations created by others.
  • Will change characteristics to please other people. A chameleon – a tendency to be what others want them to be instead of being themselves. A lack of honesty with themselves and other people.

When it comes to feeling mentally and emotionally switched on, we have to have the correct brain chemistry – get it wrong and you will never achieve the feeling of wellbeing that you crave.

Tyrosine Mood Food is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy stable mood.  Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for the sense of satisfaction – why do we drink? To feel satisfied.  It is also the reward neurotransmitter – why do we drink?  It rewards us and makes us feel better about life.

To help the alcoholic relax  Magnesium Complete is recommended as it will assist in the reduction of stress, nervous tension, anxiety and sleeplessness. I take Magnesium Ultra Potent because it suits me to use the powder format and to help prevent muscle cramps at night.

Livatone Plus is a powerful formula that can support liver function when there are more chronic liver problems. It is beneficial for a sluggish bile flow and gall bladder problems or if you have lost your gallbladder. It is beneficial in reducing abdominal bloating, burping and flatulence and provides extra antioxidant protection for the liver when required.

Allergies are related to poor liver function which reduces the liver’s efficiency in cleansing the blood of toxins (such as antibodies and chemicals like alcohol.) Such toxins over stimulate the immune system causing it to pour out inflammatory chemicals. Read Dr. Cabot’s book The Liver Cleansing Diet.

L-Glutamine helps to remove ammonia from the bloodstream to lower levels of toxic ammonia that build up when liver dysfunction is present. A practicing alcoholic has a very inflamed liver and needs to detox and heal, if the body is to recover from alcoholism.  L-Glutamine is the most amazing amino acid in the body! It is vital for healthy intestinal function and may help with inflammation of the intestinal tract. It is also vital for muscle growth and healthy muscle function. It also assists muscle recovery after exercise. I always put my patients on an exercise program to help heal their mind, body and spirit. L-Glutamine also supports efficient brain function.