Denial involves self-deception. Whenever an individual knows deep down that she or he has made a mess of things, they refuse to admit their mistake or even to accept that the cause lies in their own fear, hatred and resentment. This is denial and a barrier in early recovery with some alcoholics looking for someone else to blame. Denial can be subtle in the thinly veiled blame game. A female alcoholic executive blamed her lack of promotion on sex discrimination whereas, in fact, she lacked the skills required for the job and hindered her concentration and motivation by consuming too much alcohol on week-ends.

Before seeking help for alcoholism, most alcoholics deny that mounting problems are caused by their drinking. They blame the problem for their drinking and don’t agree that the problem is caused by their drinking.  If that was the case, then once the problem was solved, the need to drink should disappear. As they are alcoholics, they will continue to drink even if the problem does vanish. Other excuses will be found or invented to keep up appearances and indulge their immature emotions in alcohol.

The alcoholic must deny that he or she has a drinking problem because the prospect of trying to cope with life without dulling the senses with alcohol is highly threatening and unthinkable. Alcoholics failing to cope cannot see how they can survive without alcohol and this makes them see life as awful, terrible and something that can’t be faced without their bottle to comfort them. They don’t understand that there is life after alcohol.

Alcohol allows them to see the world in a much more rosy light and to see some hope for the future. When the effect of the alcohol wears off, the despair returns and they plunge into a sea of alcohol. Even after treatment, many alcoholics continue to deny they have a problem. It’s always someone else’s fault.

We’ve had alcoholics ask me to teach them how to drink socially! Once an alcoholic feels mentally and physically fit, they try controlled drinking. I ask them “have you ever tried to control your diarrhea?  It’s not possible. Once diagnosed as an alcoholic, there is no such thing as “controlled drinking."

The reasons for the return to drinking and the denial of alcoholism are always the same. The alcoholic has not learned how to cope with their job, wife, husband or children; they have not learned what actions to take to counter-attack their feelings of loneliness and overwhelming despair. They don’t understand their feelings and have no idea how to untangle their complicated emotions, except to drink their problems away.

They believe they can have a few drinks because life without alcohol and the activities they associate with drinking cannot be tolerated. Instead of getting help and working with a counsellor to help them solve their problems, they drink. Because they are prone to alcoholism and their denial of it, they soon revert to full-scale alcoholism.

This can and does occur repeatedly for some alcoholics, who go in and out of treatment facilities. A few survive relatively intact after many encounters with depression, stress, anxiety and the sense of overwhelming doom and gloom. Many die from cirrhosis of the liver or suffer massive brain damage or suffer from other diseases that accompany chronic alcoholism.

In order to survive, alcoholics cannot continue their denial because recovery is dependent on continued sobriety and sobriety will not occur while in denial.
Recovery from alcoholism is learning how to cope with stress and manage the emotions. It is an emotional disease coupled with a physical allergy to alcohol. Alcoholics have to keep the following principles firmly in mind.

  1. Alcoholics have to accept the fact that they are alcoholics.
  2. They have to accept the fact that they must become permanent non-drinkers.
  3. They have to adopt a rational, clear-thinking approach to life where they calmly work out what to do by considering all their options.
  4. They have to assert themselves and carry out their decisions.  They are a product of their decisions, not their condition.
  5. They have to protect their rights and feelings without adopting a passive/aggressive attitude. They should take the middle road and assert themselves so that no one ever tramples on their rights. They need to set boundaries and learn how to be assertive.
  6. They should stop worrying about what people think. Need for approval is dangerous.
  7. They should “live and let live” and be more concerned about their own healthy sobriety. They also need to be mindful about “how important is it” before reacting to a situation.
  8. They also need to be mindful about people, places, things and situations that upset them throughout their day.  “How Important Is It?” should be their mantra before going off the deep end; saying or doing something they may regret.
  9. The secret lies in alcoholics changing their thinking to change their feelings (emotions) to change their behaviour.  Simple, but true!  They have a toxic belief system that will open up a Pandora’s Box of unwanted emotions. Failure leads to anxiety and anxiety leads to failure. Failure leads to a drop in self-esteem and low self-esteem can lead back to drinking.
  10. Alcoholics are in charge of their own destiny. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Nothing that happens to them can make them drink. If they learn to cope with the person, place, thing or situation that upsets them, there will be no need to drink and coping skills can be learned.  It is called “learning how to detach from the world.”

There are many resources available to the alcoholic to help him or her achieve a successful sobriety. AA has well proven strategies to offer you assistance with the guidance of others who have walked a similar path.

They also take their supplements, including Tyrosine and L-Glutamine, to help balance their brain chemistry.   L-Glutamine supports efficient brain function and is the body’s most potent detoxifier. Tyrosine is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood.

We also recommend Magnesium Ultra Potent to help them reduce stress and assist with a deep and restful sleep without having to use drugs or alcohol.

LivaTone Plus supports phase 1 and phase 2 detoxification pathways, ensuring optimum detoxification of many toxic substances and also supports liver function and metabolism.

Active meditation  every morning for around 20 minutes to give them a good start to the day. They use DBT to help them live in the “now.”  If they have serious issues, they know to reach out for help and talk about their problems.  The old days of resorting to alcohol to numb their feelings are gone forever.

 

The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.