The unhappiest person in the world is the chronic alcoholic who has an insistent yearning to enjoy life as she once knew it, but cannot picture life without alcohol. She has a heart-breaking obsession that by some miracle of control she will be able to do so.
Sobriety is the most important thing in your life without exception. You may believe your job, or your home life, or one of many other things come first. But consider, if you do not get sober and stay sober, chances are you won’t have a job, a family, sanity or even life.
If you are convinced that everything in life depends on your sobriety, you have just so much more chance of getting sober and staying sober. If you put other things first you are only hurting your chances. If you are still blaming other people, places, things and situations, you are in denial.
You can take the alcohol out of the fruitcake but you still have the fruitcake. You need to get professional help to change your self-talk (thinking) to change your feelings (emotions) to ultimately, change your behaviour.
How important is it? Think about your last drink and how it affected you.
Cultivate continued acceptance of the fact that your choice is between being unhappy, drunk, and out-of-control drinking and doing without just one small drink.
It’s the first drink, not the 5th or the 6th, that starts off the compulsion. Don’t take the first drink and you won’t get drunk. The drunk takes the drink and the drink takes the drunk.
Cultivate enthusiastic gratitude you have had the good fortune of find out what was wrong with you before it was too late. Develop an attitude of gratitude for getting sober and staying sober, one day at a time. Gratitude that you are only a victim of a disease called alcoholism and that you are not a degenerate, bad or immoral person but a sick person wanting to get well.
Expect as being natural and inevitable, that for a period of time, and it may be a long one, you will recurringly experience:
- The conscious, nagging craving for a drink
- The sudden, all but compelling impulse just to take a drink
- The craving, not for a drink as such, but for the soothing glow and warmth a drink or two once gave you.
Remember that the times when you don’t want a drink are the times in which to build up the strength not to take one when you want it.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Develop and rehearse a daily plan of thinking and acting by which you will live that day without taking a drink, regardless of what may upset you or how hard the old urge for a drink may hit you.
Don’t for a split second, allow yourself to think: “Isn’t it a pity or a mean injustice that I can’t take a drink like so-called normal people.”
Don’t allow yourself to either think or talk about any real or imagined pleasure you once did get from drinking.
If you are going out to dinner, turn your empty wine glass upside down to let the waiter know you are not drinking wine. Ask for what you want and stick with it. Don’t let anyone top up your glass.
Don’t explain why you are not drinking. You don’t have to become defensive about “being on the wagon” as it is a life-style change.
Don’t allow yourself to either think or talk about any real or imagined pleasure you once did get from drinking.
It is too easy to forget the emotional and physical pain of drinking alcoholically and, as time passes, our memory fades and we forget what it was like, what happened and what we are like today.
Do you vividly remember the pain of childbirth? I doubt it. After a period of time we often succumb to thinking that our drinking was not that bad and that we may have been wrong about our perceived addiction. That’s the disease of alcoholism doing its job. It’s cunning, baffling, powerful and very patient. It’s the monkey on your back, just waiting to sabotage your recovery.
Don’t walk where it’s slippery. Get inside your head for too long and you are behind enemy lines – it can get very dangerous inside your head with the child, the teenager and the adult, all vying for attention.
Don’t permit yourself to think a drink or two would make some bad situation better or at least easier to live with. Change your self-talk. One drink is too many and 100 are not enough. Think about your last drink – did you enjoy it? How much emotional or physical damage did you cause? Do you want your depression to return with a vengeance?
Minimise your situation. Think about a blind man or someone who is handicapped and how happy that person would be if her problem could be resolved by just not taking one little drink today. Think gratefully, how lucky you are to have a problem you can do something about.
My sister died from cancer many years ago and would attend AA meetings with me. She said: “We both have a terminal illness and yet your medication is so simple. All you have to do is don’t pick up the first drink and you won’t get drunk.” That was more than 30 years ago. She passed away after 2 years of chemotherapy and the cancer invaded her brain, killing her slowly. Alcohol is a poison and a slow killer.
There is life after alcohol. Think and feel how good it is to be free of shame, guilt and self-condemnation. How good it is to be free of fear of the consequences of your drinking. To remember what happened last night and to wake up in the morning, feeling alive. How good it is to be free of what people have been thinking and whispering about you and talking about you behind your back.
Think about the simple ability to eat and sleep normally and wake up glad you are alive, glad you were sober yesterday and glad you have the privilege of staying sober today, one day at a time.
Put your head on your pillow tonight and ask yourself “what have I done today to improve my life?”
You have the ability to face whatever life may dish out, with peace of mind, self-respect, and a full possession of all your faculties.
Associate a drink as being the single cause of all the misery, shame and guilt you have ever known. Associate a drink as being the only thing that can destroy your new-found freedom and happiness. It can take from you your self-respect and peace of mind. Don’t drink poison thinking that it will kill someone else.
If you are struggling with the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, look at the Step before the one you are having problems with. If you are having problems with Step 2, have a look at Step 1 and you may discover that you are still in denial. Ask for help from your Sponsor.
Failure to accept personal responsibility results in negative consequences. It leads to becoming overly dependent on others for approval and acceptance. This could lead you to picking up a drink for comfort when feeling rejected. It’s time to stop blaming others and take responsibility for your own thoughts, feelings and behaviour. Pointing the finger at others and blaming them for how you feel is not accepting responsibility. There are three more fingers pointing back at you. Check it out! Point your finger at someone and have a look at your own hand!
If all of the above is a bit too close to home and you would like some help to de-stress, I suggest taking some
Tyrosine Mood Food, which is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood. Tyrosine is also needed for the production of enkephalins, which are substances that have pain relieving effects the body. Tyrosine can also relieve emotional pain as we are often very sensitive people. Tyrosine is also required for the manufacture of thyroid hormone and the manufacture of adrenalin in the adrenal glands.
Are you suffering from adrenal exhaustion?
Magnesium Ultra Potent can be taken before bed to assist with a deep and restful sleep. Magnesium helps to reduce stress and is great in preventing muscle cramps. I used to get spasmodic muscle cramps at night until I started taking Magnesium – haven’t had any problems since.
The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.
