Our ego plays an integral part in seeking help for alcoholism.  Alcoholics are always quick to point the finger at someone else and blame them for their predicament in life.  My answer is, point your finger at someone else blaming them for your anger, resentment, self-pity and there are three more fingers pointing back at you.  Try it! Our ego does not want us to believe that it is our own thoughts that hurt us. It does not want us to believe that what we see and hear is only a projection of our own thoughts that keep us separate and limited. Most of all, our ego does not want us to believe that perception is a choice and not a fact. Feelings are not always facts. Between a feeling and a fact there is a thought. The ego is so clever in disguising this that we fall into the trap of believing that we are the victims of our own perceptions. The only thing that can rescue us is the concept of forgiveness. It is through forgiveness that we are able to remove the limits we have imposed and see the light in ourselves and in others. Once we accept responsibility for our own alcoholic behavior, we actually have to give in to win. An alcoholic with a huge ego finds it very difficult to admit defeat but if they give in and seek help, they can turn their life around. Our ego mind has very ingenious and devious techniques for blocking us from taking responsibility for our own thoughts. For instance, it encourages us to make evaluations and interpretations so we can justify fear and the perceptions for pain and anguish; it wants us to have doubts and uncertainties. Its enemy is peace. Through its use of deception, it would have us believe that all of our upsets and unhappiness are caused by other people or external conditions. It tries to persuade us that if someone would only act differently or a situation would change, all of our problems would disappear.  That’s how alcoholics stumble through life. The ego plays an integral part in an alcoholic’s life as their self-esteem is non-existent.  They get through life on confidence, which is a learned skill, and an over-inflated ego.    Yes, very intelligent people suffer with the disease of alcoholism.  A lot of people think alcoholics are uneducated, dirty, gutter trash. It’s a stigma that stops the average ‘garden variety’ alcoholic from getting help. I get a lot of alcoholics wanting me to teach them how to drink socially as they cannot envisage a life without alcohol.  The statistics are very low when it comes to getting help for alcoholism. Anyone can stop drinking, it’s staying stopped that’s the problem. Alcoholics have problems with their self-esteem. They have over-inflated egos and are often very selfish and self-centered. Some alcoholics are a therapist’s nightmare if they have mental health issues like Borderline Personality Disorder (fear of abandonment) or Emotional Regulation Control, as it is often referred to instead of Borderline. They will often argue with their therapist about their drinking and even try to convince their therapist that they don’t have a problem – it’s everyone else who has the problem. Once the alcoholic gets sober, their ego settles down and through a lot of hard work, becomes balanced and conscious of their good and bad behavior. People often contact me because they have reached their rock bottom and don’t know where else to go. I call myself “the last resort” because alcoholics are in denial and don’t want to be confronted with their alcoholism. I had a very hostile lady ring me this week challenging me about an article I had sent her 12 months ago. My instincts told me she was an alcoholic coming off a binge and was looking for someone to bully – she picked on the wrong professional. She calmed down within a few minutes and I was able to glean that she is a very powerful woman in business and the CEO of her own company. She couldn’t stop drinking but didn’t think she was an alcoholic because of her ability to run a high profile business company here in Australia.  She was very attractive and lived a prestigious life with no financial issues, in fact, her financial status was the opposite – she is a millionaire. She could not correlate these attributes with being someone who could not control their drinking. There had to be a reason for lack of control and she was bewildered how the disease of alcoholism had progressed and she was out of control. Being a lady who was always in control of her business, colleagues, family and friends she certainly didn’t want to go public and be seen as a woman who could not control her own drinking. She perceived this as a weakness and she certainly was not a weak person.  I told her she was not a bad person but a very sick person and needed help to detox and start taking responsibility for her behavior. I can pick up on their sense of hopelessness because they are in the public eye and cannot afford to get found out.  99% of women perceive alcoholism as a stigma and they don’t want people to think they are weak and out of control. They think that no one could possibly understand how they feel and the desperate situation they find themselves facing every day.  Doesn’t matter how much money they have or how high profile they are in the business world, they are still alcoholic. Their brain is wired differently to Mrs Average, who is a social drinker and doesn’t have the need to contact a Therapist to learn how to socialize without the aid of alcohol. There is always a reason why people are alcoholic – it’s in the genes and it’s very hard to diagnose when they present their problem to their local GP and they are sober. You have to see an alcoholic in full flight to be able to get inside their head and see what’s going on. Your average General Practitioner does not have the educational skills to correctly diagnose an alcoholic because alcoholics wear a lot of masks. It’s a very lonely life for a female alcoholic because they are living in a society that expects a lot from their role as a wife, partner, mother, sister or friend. They have no time to sit down and examine their own mental and emotional health.  They prefer to pour themselves a drink and today will just be another day after they have sufficiently numbed themselves with 2 or 3 drinks of alcohol. I felt rather sorry for the lady who rang me, even though she was hostile, I knew that she was in trouble and needed to drop the mask she was presenting to the world. But that’s not going to happen until she accepts responsibility for her own behavior. Until she learns to come to terms with the reason why she drinks, she will drink again.   It’s not the 5th or 6th drink that causes her to continually binge on alcohol, it’s the very first drink. Don’t pick up the first drink and you won’t set off the chain reaction of compulsion – that’s in the brain chemistry of the alcoholic. Acceptance is the word that remains elusive to many women in the early stages of recovering from alcoholism. Many doctors, psychiatrists and counselors have no concept of what constitutes an alcoholic. They only know from their early training days and many do not bother to keep up with new information about brain chemistry and underlying mental illnesses contributing to the alcoholic’s lack of ability to stop drinking.   One of my clients told me that a local counselor suggested to her that she get back to nature and go out a hug a tree!   I was stunned that a professional counselor would suggest such a thing to a very sick lady suffering with a terminal disease called alcoholism. Our ego mind has very ingenious and devious techniques for blocking us from taking responsibility for our own thoughts. For instance, it encourages us to make evaluations and interpretations so we can justify fear and the perceptions for pain and anguish; it wants us to have doubts and uncertainties. Its enemy is peace. Through its use of deception, it would have us believe that all of our upsets and unhappiness are caused by other people or external conditions. It tries to persuade us that if someone would only act differently or a situation would change, all of our problems would disappear.  That’s how alcoholics think! There are many resources available to the alcoholic to help him or her achieve a successful sobriety. I have seen many ladies over the years that are still sober today. How do I know?  They keep in touch with me on a regular basis. They have adhered to the program they were first introduced to when they commenced counseling. They also take their supplements, including Tyrosine and L-Glutamine, to help balance their brain chemistry.   L-Glutamine supports efficient brain function and is the body’s most potent antioxidant and detoxifier. You can find glutamine in my Ultimate Gut Health powder. Tyrosine Mood Food is necessary for the manufacture of dopamine and noradrenaline, which are required for concentration, alertness, memory and a happy, stable mood. I also recommend Magnesium Ultra Potent to help reduce stress and assist with a deep and restful sleep without having to use drugs or alcohol. Livatone Plus is a natural liver tonic containing the liver herbs St Mary’s Thistle, Globe Artichoke and Dandelion, combined with the amino acid Taurine, and Lecithin. It also contains natural sources of Chlorophyll, Carotenoids and fiber. It is available in both capsule and powder form. The liver is the main fat burning organ in the body and regulates fat and carbohydrate metabolism. A healthy liver will take fat in the form of cholesterol and pump it via the bile into the intestines where it will be carried away in the bowel actions provided the diet is high in fiber.   The above statements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any disease.